Fifteen beds. Fifteen charts with names,
Fifteen people without a family tree.
Fifteen bodies for whom torture is medicine and pills.
Beds over which the crimson blood of ages spills.
Fifteen bodies that want to live here.
Thirty eyes seeking quietness.
Bald heads that gape from out of the prison.
The holiness of the suffering, which is none of my business.
The loveliness of the air, which day after day
Smells of strangeness and carbolic.
The nurses that carry thermometers
Mothers who grope after a smile.
Food is such a luxury here.
A long, long night, and a brief day.
But anyway, I don't want to leave
The lighted rooms and the burning checks,
Nurses who leave behind them only a shadow
To help the little sufferers.
I'd like to stay here, a small patient,
Waiting the doctor's daily round,
Until, after a long, long time, I'd be well again.
Then I'd like to live
And go back home again.
I commented on Jaqlyn's, Sophia's, Andrew O's, Mario's and Kiana's blog.
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I really like how EVERYTHING you did, you did for a reason, like how the silhouette of the girl representing how we don't know the authors identity. I like how you took the things that the author mentioned, like the medicine and pills, and the blood, and put it on the butterfly. I think that it was cool that you had two sides on the butterfly, but maybe you could've made it so that one side represented the hospital and the other represented the author? Because, as you mentioned, the author, despite the conditions in the hospital, has hope. Maybe the backside of the butterfly could've represented that hope. Other than that, I think you did a really great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Dena! I noticed how on some of your red tags you were a bit redundant, for example in your tag about the nurses I felt like you didn't through explain the effect of them being by standers. I did however like the bunch of definitions you added is provided good context to the poem so the audience reading your poem could refer back to that. Your butterfly was also a good juxtaposition to itself because on the front we see how the conditions were inside the hospital. Then on the back we see the outside and how thenJews were imprisoned.
ReplyDeleteI truly love your butterfly, it has a great connection to the meaning Solomon, depression, and pain. I were able to get that image very quickly knowing the purpose of the butterfly. However, I believe the quotes you picked were great however you must add more of the thought and reason behind. Mainly because I'm curious, and I would love to know! Other than that Dena I say 10/10!
ReplyDeleteI agree with everyone's comments, you did a great job Dena. My favorite part about your butterfly is the blood splatters on the front. I introduces some imagery to the person looking at the butterfly and just makes it look cool in general. No one had blood on their butterfly making yours the only one.
ReplyDeleteThe pill bottle connecting to the quote was a great idea. It's color really makes it stand out more then it already is by adding that component to the butterfly. I understood why you used it and you connected it to a quote from the poem which was smart. The only thing I would do to make it better is further explain why you chose the pictures for the backside. Overall, this was a pretty good butterfly.
I am truly impressed. This is great. You put everything the author said into your butterfly and it really brought out the meaning of the poem, you portrayed it greatly. The colors, blood, medicine, really stood out because it was what caused their pain and it shows how poorly they were treated. Always there's errors, you do not have many. The quotes you chose needed more thought into them to actually give me and others a much greater understanding. Also, the pictures that you have could use further explanations. Overall, I enjoyed your butterfly very much.
ReplyDeleteThis butterfly is indeed impressive. I could tell how much effort you put into this project. The pictures have much relation to your poem, and the blood gives the poem that gory feeling, in which is quite a booster for imagery. When you put words on your project from the dictionary, it sent out a powerful speech. It is amazing how words can open a mind to see the world in different views, and that Dena is how you did it. Your project is truly touching. Much love for you.
ReplyDeleteDena this truly is an amazing butterfly. My favorite part about your butterfly is that you added everything that the poems says the blood, medicine, nurses etc. I liked how you added two sides so that the viewer can see how they treated the people at the camps. The one thing that you should add is a tag explaining on the back why you chose to put pictures of children? Because I am very curious and I want to know. Other than that the butterfly looks great I wouldn't change a thing like Antwone said I would also give this a 10/10 great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Dena! I really love how did you butterfly. My favorite part about your butterfly is how you put the medicine bottle because it shows how the medicine bottle helps with sight or what the child is visualizing. Another thing I liked in your butterfly is how you drew the barb wire because to show how the Jews were imprisoned and had no justice or freedom. But overall I enjoyed your butterfly.
ReplyDeleteI love your butterfly and your creativity, you did an outstanding job Dena! I loved how you included a medicine bottle and the blood to bold out and somehow show your child's experience. By indicating they took pills and showed the suffering they witnessed/experienced. I agree with you that the authors purpose is feeling lonely and trapped being vulnerable. I also liked how you included the shadow of a child and a thought bubble that had words like pain, torture, blood, etc. to indicate what they were thinking.
ReplyDeleteAmazing job Dena !!!!! The way you decorated your butterfly was relaly creative. You explained every tag with a good explanation that was easy for me to understand . One of my favorite part of your butterfly was that you included the medicine bottle. It helped me a lot in undertanding your poem by you adding the bottle and the pictures , and nurses hat. Overall, great job.
ReplyDeleteYour butterfly is very engaging, and very articulate. I liked that everything you put on your butterfly had a purpose. I do question the quotes you put on the upper right hand corner. Where are the quotes from? Why didn't you cite sources? However, I did like how you incorporated quotes from the poem to help the reader understand the tags better. Your tag about how you used grey was a bit expected and could be used for any butterfly, along with the barbed wire tag; very anticipated. Other than those few flaws, your butterfly was beautiful and you did a great job expressing the way you viewed this poem.
ReplyDelete